— Pamela Chestek (@pchestek) September 14, 2013
From time to time leading citizens and crimefighters call on LIKELIHOOD OF CONFUSION®, publicly or otherwise, to weigh in or “rant” on issues that have come to their attention, and I try my best to comply — even at the expense of doing something none of us would do as lawyers, which is stick my neck out on something before fully researching it. It seems prudent, therefore, to prepare a standard template for such rants, given the apparent predictability of this blog’s point of view on things, and to have it ready as needed.
I am throwing it up here in case anyone else wants to start a blog and use it, too. Choose the appropriate bracketed term for your particular outrage.
Via [A FRIEND ON TWITTER], word has reached your ever-ready-to-react blogger about the outrageous abuse of [COPYRIGHT] [or TRADEMARK] law in connection with the [CEASE AND DESIST LETTER SENT] [or LAWSUIT FILED] by [VERY BIG COMPANY] [or VERY SMALL COMPANY WITH A STUPID LAWYER] against [INNOCENT FAIR USER] [or INNOCENT DESCRIPTIVE USER] [or VICTIM OF SELECTIVE ENFORCEMENT].
As regular readers know, I’ve already blogged about this issue, brilliantly, of course, here, here, here and here. Of course Eric Goldman agrees with me about this, too, though he doesn’t actually mention me, but he’s a very, very busy man. Also I was proved right in this case and also this little number right here.
And of course we know that I can say this because of my extensive enforcement experience representing [BRAND], [BRAND] and [BRAND].
So I know what I’m talking about, okay? Paid those dues. Walked the walk. Why just last month I filed a plaintiff’s action in a [TRADEMARK] [or COPYRIGHT] case!
Despite all this no one — especially the big shots at INTA who just won’t recognize my true worth and are certainly never going to send me referrals, hardly, or even admit they read this blog even though I see the names of their firms in my server logs — has taken any action to [AMEND THE COPYRIGHT ACT] [or AMEND THE LANHAM ACT] [or TEACH THOSE JUDGES HOW TO READ]. All of which just goes to show that it’s just a lot easier and sneakier for Big IP, through its handmaidens in the judiciary, to defer to those big law firms, when really what the IP community needs to do is to finally step up and [OFFER ME AN ADJUNCT POSITION] [or ASK ME TO SIT ON A PANEL] [or SEND ME REFERRALS].
Diversion, you claim? Come on, whom are we kidding? Confusion, you say? I think not!!
And please: Don’t. Give. Me. Any. Of. This. Initial. Interest. Confusion. Garbage! (Did I mention that Jews for Jesus v. Brodsky decision has really been totally discredited by now?)
When will it end? When will [COPYRIGHT] [or TRADEMARK] law again protect true innovation? When will it enhance competition? When will it stop coddling those rent-seeking entrenched stakeholders?
Don’t plaintiff’s lawyers who [SEND THESE LETTERS] [or FILE THESE CLAIMS] realize they’re just giving ammunition to those who, unlike your blogger, do not love-love-love intellectual property rights and the lawyers who live off them? Don’t they know the judges’ clerks read my blog (which, by the way, is a real blog, not one of those prefabricated blogs from a consultant) and agree with me about this and will punish, punish, PUNISH them for pushing their luck and making more money than they should, like they did Righthaven? Which by the way I was a little bit involved in?
Aren’t they ever going to learn about the Streisand Effect, already? Also, but — excuse me, people — free speech anyone?
Where does it end? Where in Heaven’s name does it end?
So, call me some time!