Best of 2011: The seven habits of highly annoying lawyers

First posted on February 4, 2011.

Or, perhaps, the companies that hire them. Let’s see if we can find all seven in this highly effective — certainly highly earnest! — item from Mark Malek at the Tactical IP blog.

But first, while I haven’t looked into the facts here, this item made me wonder: Can we find the Seven Habits of Highly Annoying Lawyers in the typical overreaching cease-and-desist letter story? I would say so:

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Covey Habit1: Be Proactive
- Lawyer Habit 1: Be a Prostitute

Covey Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
- Lawyer Habit 2: Begin with the Fee in Mind

Covey Habit 3: Put First Things First
- Lawyer Habit 3: Shop for the Right Jurisdiction First

Covey Habit 4: Think Win-Win
- Lawyer Habit 4: Think Win-Bankrupt Them

Covey Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, then to Be Understood
- Lawyer Habit 5: Seek First to Understand What You Can Get Away With, then Make Your Threat Understood

Covey Habit 6: Synergize
- Lawyer Habit 6: Sin

Covey Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
- Lawyer Habit 6: Sharpen the Teeth

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I’m feeling more effective already! Okay, now to Mark’s probably unrelated, but highly enthusiastic — not to say excessively perky — offering about the Covey thing.

I just read a story on Tech Dirt regarding the publishers of the very famous book “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” and it really hit home for me. More on why in a bit.

Apparently, Franklin Covey, the publisher of the “Seven Habits” series of books has sent out a cease and desist (C&D) notice to Shlock Mercenary, an online webcomic. Some more information about the C&D notice that Shlock Mercenary received can be found here. Shlock Mercenary had been publishing an online webcomic “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates” for years, and just got on Franklin Covey’s radar. From the sound of the C&D notice, Franklin Covey seems to assert that any use of the number “7” with “habit” is a violation of their trademark. . . .

One of tools that I used to teach the Junior Achievement class to my 10^th graders was a video that outlined the Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens. I was impressed that everyone in my class had already read the book, and many of them took the lessons to heart.

I understand why, at times, sending out C&D notices may sometimes be warranted, but this didn’t seem like one of those times. Then again, I do not have all the facts, so I do not want to sound judgmental….too late? My point is that I think Franklin Covey should take this as an opportunity to teach. One of the “habits” that is taught by the series is “think win-win.” What if you start out thinking win-win, but it just doesn’t happen? I guess that is what litigation is about.